It’s filled with alcohol and hamburgers
Dear friends,
It is with the saddest heart that I pass on the following. Please join
me in remembering a great icon.
The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and
complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.
Doughboy was buried in a lightly-greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities
turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry
Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and
Cap’n Crunch. The grave site was piled high with flours as long- time
friend, Aunt Jemima, delivered the eulogy, describing Doughboy as a man
who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show
business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not
considered a very “smart” cookie, wasting much of his dough on
half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, he — even
still, as a crusty old man — was considered a roll model for millions.
Toward the end, it was thought he would rise again, but alas, he was no
tart.
Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough; two children, John Dough
and Jane Dough; plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by
his elderly father, Pop Tart.
The funeral was held at 3:50 for about twenty minutes.
Here is a true story someone found regarding exams at Cambridge
University. It seems that during an examination one day a bright young
student popped up and asked the proctor to bring him Cakes and Ale. The
following dialog ensued:
Proctor: I beg your pardon?
Student: Sir, I request that you bring me Cakes and Ale.
Proctor: Sorry, no.
Student: Sir, I really must insist. I request and require that you bring
me Cakes and Ale.
At this point, the student produced a copy of the four hundred year old
Laws of Cambridge, written in Latin and still nominally in effect, and
pointed to the section which read (rough translation from the Latin):
“Gentlemen sitting examinations may request and require Cakes and Ale.”
Pepsi and hamburgers were judged the modern equivalent, and the student
sat there, writing his examination and happily slurping away.
Three weeks later the student was fined five pounds for not wearing a
sword to the examination.
