In the new movie “Inception,” Leonardo DiCaprio burrows deep into the subconscious of a self-absorbed plutocrat to plant a powerful idea that will change the world. If the technology used in “Inception” were available in real life, Mr. DiCaprio might burrow into the subconscious of Hollywood plutocrats and plant these paradigm-altering ideas: Stop making movies like “Grown Ups,” “Sex and the City 2,” “Prince of Persia” and anything that positions Jennifer Aniston or John C. Reilly at the top of the marquee. Stop trying to pass off Shia LaBeouf—who looks a bit like the young George W. Bush—as the second coming of Tom Cruise. Stop casting Gerard Butler in roles where he is called upon to emote. And if “Legion” and “Edge of Darkness” and “The Back-up Plan” and “Hot Tub Time Machine” are the best you can do, stop making movies, period. Humanity will thank you for it.

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Nmachi Ihegboro and her husband Ben (apparently) managed to conceive a white, non-albino child without any of the normal adultery. Surprised geneticists are speculating that both parents must have had some white ancestry, which by a complicated scientific process called “magic” caused their baby to be a white baby instead of a black baby. Science is amazing.

From

We have all wanted to break things out of sheer frustration - especially on a Monday.

Now women in China have a special place they can go to do just that.

A shopping mall in Shenyang has opened a special store for people to break all kinds of normal household things - smashing them to smithereens with baseball bats.

see more at Daily Mail

 A taxi driver died after unwittingly drinking pure liquid cocaine from a rum bottle given to him as a gift, a court heard today.

Lascell Malcolm, 63, had been handed the bottle of Bounty Rum by friend Antoinette Corlis after refusing to take payment for a lift home after she returned from a Caribbean holiday.

She in turn had been given the bottle by a friend, Michael Lawrence, who was carrying it back to the UK from St Lucia for acquaintance Martin Newman.

Newman, 50, was the only one who knew there was 246g (8.7oz) of pure cocaine dissolved into the alcohol, and that just a teaspoon of the liquid could be fatal.

He had given two bottles to Mr Lawrence before flying from St Lucia to Gatwick Airport, claiming his own baggage was overweight. It was intended that he would collect the bottles upon arrival in the UK, but Newman was detained by Customs officers.

Mr Lawrence waited for Newman for a short while before leaving to catch a connecting flight to his home in Switzerland, giving one of the bottles to Ms Corlis.

Oliver Glasgow, prosecuting, told Croydon Crown Court, south London: “Corlis, unaware of the dangers posed by the defendant’s bottle of rum, decided to give it to Lascell Malcolm as a thank you for his trouble. It was gratefully received.

“Corlis was only to realise the full import of what she had done when she tried to contact Lascell Malcolm over the following days.”

Mr Malcolm, a father-of-two from Haringey, London, had drunk a shot of the rum along with a pint of Guinness, hours after Ms Corlis had given him the bottle on May 25 last year.

But at 4am the next day, he called emergency services telling them he could not walk, had a headache and thought he was dying.

He was admitted and discharged from hospital but later collapsed and died in front of his son Richard. He had suffered a heart attack brought on by cocaine poisoning.

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Somebody decided to make the world just a little bit more interesting, and three red swings appeared on the BART Public Transit System in San Francisco for the public to enjoy.

from Treehugger

George Cascone, a used car shop owner in Kansas City, was recently a target of an alleged murder-for-hire attempt by his ex-wife. She wanted him wacked so she could collect a life insurance policy. How cliche. According to KSHB in Kansas City, the hitman she hired to kill her ex ratted her out to the FBI. The local NBC news affiliate caught up with Cascone outside his shop where he launches into a crazy, hilarious, and all around awesome rant about his ex-wfe, calling her “psychotic, crazy, diabolical and evil,” and stating, “Tiger Woods ain’t got nothing on me. She’s smashed up several of my cars.” Other highlights include this gem:

“The part that insulted me the most is the fact that she was going to pay the hit man so little money,” he said. “She should’ve taken someone from out of town like Chicago or New York. And she should’ve paid at least $10,000. Two grand is not enough to get that work done. In a sense, you get what you pay for.”

From Brobible

In Novosibirsk Russia, 42 year-old Tatiata Kozhevnikova broke her own Guinness Record by hefting a glass ball attached to 14-kgs (about 31 pounds) of weight with her vagina muscles. Kozhenikova’s success didn’t happen overnight, but through fifteen years of rigorously training her world class vagina.

“After I had a child, my intimate muscles got unbelievably weak,” she said via a bad Russian interpreter. “I read books on Dao and learned that ancient women used to deal with this problem using wooden balls. I looked around, saw a Murano glass ball and inserted it in my vagina. It took me ages to get it out!”

Tatiata now trains with exercise balls made custom for her fierce vagina. A string and hook are attached to the balls, allowing more weight to be added as her vagina becomes ever stronger.

Since her first record setting lift, Tatiana has championed vagina exercise as a way to improve your sex life.

“It’s enough to exercise your vagina five minutes a day, ladies, and in just one week you’ll be able to give yourself and your man unforgettable pleasure in bed.”

Most men agree; nothing is more pleasurable than having your weakling penis crushed by the titan force of your partner’s intimate lady muscles.

Tatiata will undoubtedly become the Chuck Norris of the vagina fitness world, inspiring a generation of women to exercise with her signature series vagina-weights and sexercise tapes. Along with the East German women’s swim team in the 1976 Olympics who wowed the world with their penis-sized steroid-clitorises, Tatiata’s achievements will likely go down in history as the first of many Communist triumphs over the U.S. in this post Cold War battle for world supremacy.

from creative loafing

Finally, a reason to be fat—in sacrifice for your friends.

One in three engaged British women admitted that they would choose an overweight friend to be their bridesmaid in order to make them look comparatively slimmer.

Despite this many brides still profess themselves unhappy with their appearance in their wedding pictures, with two in five saying they felt insecure alongside slimmer guests.

Results from a survey by diet plan Slim.Fast revealed that almost fifty per cent of brides diet before their wedding day, along with one fifth of female guests.

Many said buying a new outfit was a good way to boost self confidence, while 40 per cent said new shoes made them feel better about their appearance.

Fiona Hunter, nutritionist from Slim.Fast, said: “Women are obviously feeling such pressure to look good on their big day that they’re resorting to selecting bridesmaids larger than themselves.

“It’s very sad and a real shame. Looking at these statistics, it seems to be a worrying new trend.”

from

Sisters Harriett and Rose Higley and their mum Deborah have always done everything together.

So when Deborah had a boob job, Harriett and Rose decided to follow suit – and the two sisters had identical implants on the same day.

Even more remarkably, dad Perry agreed to pay £10,000 for all three ops.

“We’re a really close family, so having boob jobs together seemed the most natural thing in the world,” says Harriett, 21.

“I remember when Mum had hers done, I was so jealous. I just wanted mine to look the same.”

Mum Deborah increased her cup size from a 32A to a D five years ago, with both daughters following suit this year.

“I’d inherited her flat chest and hated my tiny 32A boobs,” says Harriett. “I hid my lack of curves under baggy tops and wore padded bras everywhere – even to bed!

“Mum was really sympathetic. She understood what it was like to have a hang-up about your body and tried to cheer me up when I got ­upset.

“I was 16 when Mum had her op and I thought she looked fabulous.

“I knew Rose felt the same way. We shared a bedroom as ­teenagers and we’d stay up late talking about cosmetic surgery. We both longed for ­bigger boobs so we could wear strapless dresses and even go braless.

“You have to be at least 18 to have a boob job in the UK, and I even debated going to ­America where I could have it done early. But Mum persuaded me to wait.

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CNN has a nice compilation of some cool and funny proposal ideas. My favorite is below:

The most masculine approach: Guys with huge self-confidence issues might look into ways to inject a whole load of testosterone into their proposals. For instance, the date begins as the man asks the woman to go hunting. While hunting, they see a bear. The man flies at the bear, ripping off his shirt, and forces it to tap out with an ankle hold. Then, as the bear cries, the man reaches down its throat to pull out an engagement ring. A camouflage engagement ring. As the man proposes, the Blue Angels fly by, and Sam Elliott parachutes down to shake the lucky couple’s hands. Honestly, my biceps just inadvertently flexed while typing that.